You Are More Capable Than You Realize with Deidre Ferenc

This episode invites you into the life-changing journey of Deidre Ferenc, a seasoned health coach and valiant breast cancer survivor. Walk with us as Deidre retraces her steps, navigating through the challenging journey while holding onto a beacon of positivity and resilience. From the day the cold, hard diagnosis struck, Deidre chose to rise above her circumstances, embracing her strength and courage, and fortifying her resilience. Her story serves as a testament of the human spirit, reminding us all of the significance of a positive mindset, especially in the face of adversity.

The breast cancer diagnosis left an indelible mark on Deidre's life, imprinting lessons of strength, perseverance, and the power of asking for help. As a health coach, these invaluable lessons became her mantra, guiding her in helping clients realize their resilience, and more importantly, granting them the permission to seek help. So join us, and allow Deidre's story to inspire, touch, and enlighten you, as she imparts wisdom on navigating through life's roughest seas.

Connect with Deidre:
Website: https://www.dlfwellness.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deidreferenc/

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 2:07

Are you a woman who runs the world but know you need a little support to Listen up? Through coaching clients and pursuing my own health and ambitions, I've found getting to a goal takes more than just willpower. It takes a mindset restart and learning how to adjust and not quit. In this podcast, you'll hear from women out there leading the way in momentum, and I'll be sharing impactful mindset strategies to help you get out of your own way. Whether you're on a health journey, starting your life after a big change or trying to keep up momentum towards your passion project, with all the ups and downs, this is for you. It's time to decrease the things that hold you back and increase the things that move you forward towards a life that you want. I'm Amber Bebelheimer and this is the Momentum Restart Podcast. Have you ever hit a moment in your life where you think I don't know if I can do this? We all have, and most likely you did it and you realized you were capable of so much more than you ever thought you were.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Today is a special interview in honor of breast cancer awareness month this October, and I want to honor and dedicate today's episode to my sweet aunt and godmother, karen, who passed away 10 years ago after her fight against breast cancer, and she showed us through that entire process, through the ups and downs, of how to stay strong. She taught us how to have faith. She taught us how to make the most of what you're dealt and she showed us the beauty in soaking up every minute of life, people and fun that she could have and ultimately show us how to make the most out of life. So today I am so thankful to invite Deidre, a health coach and breast cancer survivor, to share her story about how she was also so much more capable than she realized, stronger than she ever knew she could be, and her story will inspire you, it'll empower you and it'll give you a new lens to look at, look through whatever life throws at you. So let's jump in. Hey, deidre, thank you so much for being here. How are you today?

Speaker 2: 4:36

I'm great. Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 4:39

Absolutely. You have a powerful story and I'm really excited to hear more about it today and I know it's going to be really inspiring for everyone listening. And before we dive in, can you tell us just a little bit more about you? Get to know you first. Where are you from? What's your family like? What do you love doing outside of work? So?

Speaker 2: 4:59

I live in Fort Lauderdale, florida. I was born and raised here. I have two kids, two teenagers, a boy and a girl, and I've been married for almost 18 years getting ready to have my 18th anniversary and I am a true Florida girl. I love the beach, I love being in the water, I love being outside, I love sunshine. I feel very fortunate to live in a place where it's basically summer, you know.

Speaker 1: 5:32

12 months out of the year.

Speaker 2: 5:34

It's a little hot in the summer, especially this summer we had some record heat. But I am just a born and raised South Florida girl.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Yes, I love that so much. And just soaking it up and getting to see the beauty in being near the beach all the time, that sounds like a dream to me. For sure I don't take it for granted, not at all. I love that. I love that so much. And you are a health coach and we met in person over a year and a half ago in Florida for a conference and so much has happened since then. No-transcript Really change shortly after we met. Can you share about your journey a little bit.

Speaker 2: 6:14

Yes, my life literally changed about four days after we met at that conference last February. I was at a routine doctor's appointment, just, you know, getting my checkup, and my doctor went to do my breast exam and she said, oh, I feel a lump. And then she was oh, I feel another lump. But her next response was let's not worry. Let's not worry, we'll get it checked out, I'll send you for a mammogram, I'll send you for an ultrasound, but eight out of 10 lumps are not cancer. So unless there's something to worry about, let's not worry.

Speaker 2: 6:50

And I have that personality, that's how I am. I'm not going to think the worst. I, like you know, I'm the type of person that looks at the glass half full, not half empty. So I said, okay, we're going to go get some tests done and hopefully it's going to be nothing to worry about. And unfortunately it was not nothing to worry about. You know, after going and getting my screenings done and then having to have a biopsy done, I got that phone call that no one ever wants to get, where my doctor had to tell me that I did have breast cancer.

Speaker 1: 7:27

How did you navigate those first couple of weeks after hearing that call and processing and working through it with your family?

Speaker 2: 7:36

So the day after I got that call I got on an airplane and I went on a ski trip with my family. Trust me, the thought crossed our mind that we should cancel that trip. But after speaking to my husband and speaking to my doctor, it was determined that you don't need to do anything right this moment. Go on that trip. You don't want to devastate your children. I did not want to tell my children at that point. I didn't want to tell anyone at that point because you know I didn't know enough myself and I like to have all the facts before I start talking about things. So I decided to go ahead and go on.

Speaker 2: 8:15

That family ski trip was probably one of the best things I could have done for myself After getting the most devastating phone call of my life. And it's not to say, I woke up every morning on that trip and I would get up before anyone else in the house and I would get my coffee and I would get on my computer and I would start googling and I would just cry. And I did it every morning. But by the time the rest of the family got up and my kids got up, I put on my big girl pants. I put a smile on my face and I went out there and I enjoyed myself thoroughly skiing down the mountains. I probably enjoyed myself more than I ever had because I just felt so free and it just felt so good to be in nature and, you know, being with my family in that way.

Speaker 1: 9:08

After getting that news, yes, and that is a beautiful way that really to me, seeing you, I love how you've shared your journey this past year and a half, and so we've been able to just be inspired by how you've handled everything and with the unimaginable, you've been able to just show up in such a powerful way and even hearing how you had handled that first week, like how you had that time where you processed it, you researched and then you fully embraced life at the same time, that same week and over this past year and a half. What do you feel like? How do you feel like your life or your outlook on life is different now than it was before?

Speaker 2: 9:53

Well, once you go through something like cancer, it just changes the way you look at everything in life. You look at life through a cancer lens which, in all honesty, is a more beautiful lens. Everything is just a little more special. I don't get as upset as easily. I don't sweat the small stuff, you know, like I used to, because in the scheme of things you know, having to wait in line at the post office is not that big of a deal you know, so things that you would normally get huffy and puffy about or maybe I was the one that got huffy and puffy you just don't get as upset anymore.

Speaker 2: 10:35

You appreciate everything that you get to do, the time with your family, you know, being out in nature, like I mentioned, and one of the greatest gifts that cancer gave me because even though cancer is devastating, it can bring some unexpected gifts along on your journey was that my faith in humanity was truly restored, my faith that there are some incredible people in our world, because, you know, our world can be a little depressing and a little sad at times, but the amount of love and the amount of support that I received from neighbors, friends, family, my coach, community, strangers that I didn't even know it just really restores your faith in there being some really good people in our world.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Yes, oh, that's beautiful, that and all of those life lessons. I love that you're. You're sharing those now and turning around and sharing it with other people, everything that you've learned. And in on this podcast we talk a lot about decreasing the things that hold you back and increasing the things that move you forward. And even though we can make plans, we know life happens and as a strong woman you are, you've adjusted, you've never quit and what do you feel like has helped you get through this last year and a half and the positive weight like you have Well, you don't have a lot of control.

Speaker 2: 12:07

When it comes to cancer which for someone like me who's a type A and a little bit of a control freak it's really hard when you don't have control. You don't have control over what the doctors are telling you. You don't have control over your pathology, your prognosis it's out of your hands. But the one thing you do have control over is your mindset. You have control over that. Now, I'm not saying it is not really hard to keep it in check some days because, trust me, I had my moments. But I looked at it this way this was something I had to go through.

Speaker 2: 12:47

There was no going around, there was no turning around and going back the other way, the only way to get to the other side was through, and so I just said you're going to go through this, no matter what. So how do you want to go through it? Do you want to go through it just being depressed and sad and life just dealt me a bad hand? Or do you want to go through it as a warrior? Do you want to go through it and be like I am going to be strong, I am going to get through this, I am going to be okay and I am not going to let my mind go down a slippery slope of negativity. I am going to do whatever I can to keep that positive and uplifting and encouraging.

Speaker 1: 13:30

Yes, and that is so powerful, so powerful. What our mind, what we decide in our mind, how it impacts everything else around us and the people around us. And we were talking just before this recording about how, when I see your journey to me, it reminds me of you are so much more capable than you think you are, that you can choose, make that choice and the things that we do have control over, which we do have control over some things, but there's so much that we don't, and so you're right letting go of the things we don't and then deciding on the things we do have control over absolutely. And what do you feel like has when people have come to you, or how have you been able to no-transcript, share and turn around and encourage them, maybe even in your I think you do it in your coaching, in your coach community too, where you've been able to turn around and share those insights and those stories with your clients.

Speaker 2: 14:33

Well, one thing I will say is that I have had people come to me over the past year and a half and they're like I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you got through what you went through. I could never do that. And my response to them is yes, you can. Yes, you could. God forbid you ever had to. You could because you have no idea how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.

Speaker 2: 15:00

And when I went in to have my bilateral mastectomy, there was a mural painted on the wall next to my pre-op bed that said that. And I have never forgotten that, because it is so true when you need to show up for yourself, you will show up for yourself and anyone that might be on this journey. I have just tried to tell them allow yourself to feel the things that you need to feel. It's okay to sit and cry, it's okay to scream and yell, it's okay to let out that emotion, but then you have to be able to say, okay, I had my little episode, I had my little emotional tantrum. Now it's time to pull myself together and show up as the warrior that I need to be to get through this.

Speaker 1: 15:53

Yes, oh, I got chills. And that is so powerful. You don't know how strong you are until you have to be. That is so true in everything we do and I'm sure you've seen that. Have you seen that trickle over to in just other areas of life, now that you've experienced that whole new level of strength that you had to lean into, how have you seen that pop up in other areas of your life?

Speaker 2: 16:17

You know, I just think I've become. I'm always. I'm one of those people that I don't like confrontation. My friends call me Switzerland, okay.

Speaker 2: 16:27

Because, I'm always like you know, I don't want to ruffle feathers. I maybe sometimes in the past would not speak my mind or say something just because I was like, oh, I don't want to cause any issues. And I've definitely become what's the word? I've just become more confident in who I am in all aspects of my life. You know, speaking up for myself, saying no more, not always saying yes to things just because someone asked me. You know, hey, do you want to chair the such and such committee at school? You know, for the kid.

Speaker 1: 17:01

If I can take it on.

Speaker 2: 17:03

I feel much more confident in being like you know what. No, I don't think I can do that right now, you know, I just have other things going on. So I just feel, you know, more confident in going through life in general and decisions that we have to make on a daily basis.

Speaker 1: 17:20

Yes, absolutely. I mean. That strength that you've been able to lean into and build has provided that confidence, and you're right to be able to say no. That's a big piece to be able. You are taking control in that area too, and that's beautiful. It's so important. And before we talk about it, some of our get to know you questions. I want to make sure people can find you too. I just want to pause too and ask if there's someone listening who is just finding out this diagnosis for the first time, or going through cancer themselves, what would your advice be to that woman listening out there?

Speaker 2: 17:57

Don't be afraid to ask for help People want to help. And don't be afraid to be specific in what you need, because a lot of times people will say, I want to help you, what can I do for you? And you're like no, it's all right.

Speaker 2: 18:12

I got it, you don't need to help. Don't be afraid to say you know what I would really love a home cooked meal the night after my chemo treatment. Or, if they're local, I would love it if you could just come over one day and help me do a few loads of laundry. Like, don't be afraid, people want to help but they don't always know what to do to help. So don't be afraid to ask your friends, your community, your family for specific things that you actually need help with, because, one, it's going to help you because you need the help and, two, it's going to make them feel good because they feel like they are doing something for you that you really need.

Speaker 1: 18:56

Yes, oh, that's really good advice, such good advice, and just giving yourself that permission to ask for help. And you're right, people do want to help and anytime you can give them the opportunity, it's a blessing on both sides, absolutely so. Where can people find you in order to get more inspiration from you? I know they're going to want to be following you. Where can they find you at?

Speaker 2: 19:19

So my Instagram is at Diedreference, which nobody can probably spell, but it's D-E-I-D-R-E-F-E-R-E-N-C. And then I do also have a website with a lot of recipes and healthy inspiration, which is D-L-F-Welnesscom.

Speaker 1: 19:42

Awesome, and we'll make sure to have those links too in the show notes. I can relate with my name, amber Bebelheimer, that we have to spell out every single letter and make sure it's easy to find. So we'll make sure to have all those links in the show notes and in order. I love a few questions, just to get to know you better too. So what is your favorite way to self-care?

Speaker 2: 20:03

During my cancer journey I started getting up really early every morning and I started going over to the beach to watch sunrise. And I'm lucky enough that I do live close to the beach. But starting my day in that way just really kind of gave me the zest and the beauty that I needed to get through my day. And I don't do it every day anymore. I do still get over there a few mornings a week with kids in school and all of that. It's a little bit harder at times, but that to me is just starting my day in a way that puts me at peace and puts me at ease and just reminds me of the natural beauty in our world. And so to me that's one of the things that I consider to be self-care. And then, of course, working out. I don't work out so much to fit in a certain size pair of pants. I work out because of the benefits that it gives me mentally and just how it makes me feel so much better throughout my day when I get a workout done in the morning.

Speaker 1: 21:20

Yes, oh, that's so true. Just to move our body and to get outside and soak up that nature. I always make sure to get out. I was outside this morning and have my cup of coffee just in the sunshine, just so powerful, just to have that sunshine on our face. It makes a big difference in the day. And I'm curious are you a Starbucks girl and if so, what's your order?

Speaker 2: 21:40

I am. I don't drink it that often, but when I do, I usually get a double tall soylate.

Speaker 1: 21:47

Oh, nice, very specific. I like that. That's good, you know what you like I use your old drink. I love that. Ok, and this final question I'm really excited to learn from you on this On those days when you're not feeling it, you're not motivated or you just don't want to do the hard thing, what do you do to get through that?

Speaker 2: 22:07

Oh, that's a good one. I had one of these days just this week. Honestly, sometimes I allow myself to just kind of be unmotivated. If I am truly not feeling like my body has a workout in it, I will go take a walk because, like I said, I thrive off movement. So I'll go take a nice long walk and get out in the sunshine, just like you said. But other times I also remind myself. You know what, diedra, the only workout you will ever regret is the one you don't do. So Do the 30-minute workout, because you're gonna be so glad you did, and I can tell you that a hundred percent of the time. I have never Right, you know, for myself to show up and then afterwards gone. You know, I really wish I hadn't done that.

Speaker 1: 23:01

Never regret a workout.

Speaker 2: 23:02

That's true, hey you'll never regret Giving yourself healthy food. You'll never regret taking care of your body ever so I just always remind myself of that.

Speaker 1: 23:13

Oh, I love that. That's a beautiful way to put it, too, and a great mindset shift in order to get yourself out there too. I love that. We are so thankful to have you here today. Thank you for sharing all of your insight and your story, and we'll make sure to be following along. Thanks for being here. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you for listening to this episode of momentum restart podcast. I would love to hear what you think about it. What were your takeaways? What action steps do you now want to take? Dm me on Instagram at coach amberby and let's keep this conversation going. I promise I respond to every message I get. Talk with you soon.