Stop the Bully in Your Head

Ever found yourself held back by self-doubt or the fear of what others might think? In this episode, I delve into the power of belief and self-confidence. Drawing from personal anecdotes and experiences as a mother and business owner, I discuss the impact of self-doubt, the importance of positive self-talk, and the mindset shifts necessary to overcome challenges. Join me as I share practical strategies to manage mindset, find evidence to support positive beliefs, and build unwavering confidence to pursue your goals and dreams.

I explore the concept of parenting oneself positively, urging listeners to treat themselves with the same compassion and encouragement they would offer their children. Through mindset shifts and visualization techniques, I offer insights into overcoming doubts and fears, both in business and life. By believing in ourselves and our abilities, and by finding evidence to support our positive beliefs, we can navigate setbacks with resilience and emerge stronger and more confident than ever.

In this episode, I cover the following:
1. Managing mindset and believing in one's abilities.
2. Overcoming doubts and setbacks in business and life.
3. Mindset shifts and visualization techniques to overcome doubt and fear.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Are you a woman who runs the world but know you need a little support too? Listen up. Through coaching clients and pursuing my own health and ambitions, I found getting to a goal takes more than just willpower. It takes a mindset restart and learning how to adjust and not quit. In this podcast, you'll hear from women out there leading the way in momentum and I'll be sharing impactful mindset strategies to help you. Women out there leading the way in momentum, and I'll be sharing impactful mindset strategies to help you get out of your own way.

Speaker 1: 0:28

Whether you're on a health journey, starting your life after a big change, or trying to keep up momentum towards your passion project, with all the ups and downs, this is for you. It's time to decrease the things that hold you back and increase the things that move you forward towards a life that you want. That hold you back and increase the things that move you forward towards a life that you want. I'm Amber Biebelheimer and this is the Momentum Restart Podcast. Welcome to Momentum Restart Podcast. I'm your host, Coach Amber B. I hope that you know that your plan should never change because of what others believe about you. Today, I'm going to share with you a few stories about belief Together, we're going to uncover areas where you might be, even if you're the most confident person listening. Today we're going to uncover areas where we might be holding back or not going all in because of what we think others believe about ourselves, and you will be able to take that and move forward with momentum. Increase the things that move you forward today.

Speaker 1: 1:29

I have two boys at home right now that were in elementary. I can't believe we're out of the baby stage. I've been watching all the baby videos and pictures on my phone with the kids lately and just saying goodbye to that era of our life. It was so sweet and I loved it. But at the same time I'm really excited about this new stage and when you have elementary kids at home, every time I pick them up I ask so many questions and I love our chats on the way home from school and when you're in first and third grade, you hear a lot about what goes down on the playground.

Speaker 1: 1:59

This person did this or this happened here, and it's just a really great chance to talk through things. Last year my youngest son, who was new to basketball camp, had a little run in with a quote unquote mean kid, as he said. And this kid kept telling my son at this basketball camp that he wasn't good at basketball and jesting him Like why don't you know how to do things? And my boy, my little boy, who's usually really spirited and really bold and super confident, you could just tell by watching him. I didn't know what was happening at the time, but I saw him on the court and you could just see that he just shut down and he was filled with self-doubt because of what someone else believed to be true about him.

Speaker 1: 2:39

So what would you do in this situation? What would you say to this little six-year-old at the time? What would you say to your kid? If this happened, I can bet you millions of dollars you would not say yeah, he's right, you should probably just quit. No one thinks you're any good at this. Anyways, there is no. That actually hurts my heart to say. I'm having a physical response right now, and I'm sure you are too listening.

Speaker 1: 3:05

There's no way we would say that to him, because that's not ever something we would ever say to our kids. So why do we allow ourselves to talk to ourselves that way? Sometimes, Even if we don't necessarily say those words to ourselves, sometimes we believe it without realizing it, when we're comparing and letting what other people say become our truth. I really want to challenge you today to parent yourself like you would your kids. So what I did say, and maybe a very aggressive way, is oh no, buddy, we do not let other people's careless words stop us from doing something we love or trying something new. And I told him I believed in him. Yes, I also explained on the side, too, that it's not okay for this kid to say this, this, and he probably had someone telling him things like that and hurt people. We had that conversation too. But this is true in your life and your business.

Speaker 1: 3:53

Today too, and I was thinking about this, I've had three people. When you just have these situations where you are told something over and over again from all the different people that are in your life and you realize I think I need to listen to this I've had three women tell me in the last year indirectly, not knowing that I really needed this telling me this quote that says you can always find evidence to support what you want to believe about a situation or yourself. You can always find evidence to support what you want to believe. And the third time I heard it. That's when I started listening. Sometimes we need to hear things many times. Actually, we often do.

Speaker 1: 4:30

Try this mindset shift here. What do you want to believe about your current situation at work or home or life, and look for evidence to support this belief? Treat that exercise like it's your job. It is your responsibility and my responsibility as a mom, as a business owner, as a friend, as a human who wants to make an impact on the world, to manage our mindset, and it all starts with believing what we believe about ourself and choosing not to believe the naysayers. So here's what happened when I finally decided to believe this.

Speaker 1: 5:00

I was in the middle of my mom mode activate launch, which I can't wait to share more with you, if you're a business owner, about some of the details that went into this launch and how it was different, but one key piece that was a huge difference for me was my beliefs in this launch. One thing that was hugely different two parts of this is I created this mom mode activate space, these 21 day mini podcast episodes under five minutes in a way that truly felt like I'm hanging out with my friends, we're having a girls weekend and we're talking through life and I'm sharing the things I'm passionate about because I know that it's going to help them. That's how it felt. It felt so natural to me, it felt so good. It felt like this thing that had to get out, that nudging, that belief that you have in yourself, there's something that you believe so strongly that you just have to get it out and you have to create it and you have to share. That was this project. So when it came time to quote unquote sell it, it was so easy. It never felt like selling because it really wasn't to me, it was. I need to get this in as many hands as possible and I wanted to create this beautiful gathering of working moms together to have fun and to relate and to give ourselves relief. And we are on day seven inside the group and it has been magical.

Speaker 1: 6:27

One quote I love this Alex Mackey, who was on the podcast last week. She and Nicole are both in this group and I love their honesty. And Alex was telling me at the beginning and I totally relate to this because I'm the same and she said I don't usually like challenges like this, I don't usually follow through on them, but I'm excited to start and I'm the same way. I don't usually like to do things like this, but she was trying it and I love that she tried it and she told me today that she never does this for these types of challenges, but she's loving it and she's still doing it and she loves it so much and is using these daily restarts and putting it into practice and it's just created in such a way where it's like we're gathering as moms every day for five minutes whenever it works for them, and I loved hearing that feedback so much, because that is what I wanted.

Speaker 1: 7:14

I wanted that I see these women, that I get to connect with all the time and I see how hard they're working, and I want them to know I believe in them. I want you to know I believe in you and what you're trying to do, and I know it's hard and I know there's so much on your plate and I do 100% believe it is possible for you to still find time and space to do the things that you are meant to do. It is possible to find the space to create the life that you want and have more flow. So that belief that I had going into this launch helped me create it and get it out there. It helped have the biggest launch ever that I've had in the last two years, honestly, because I believed in this so deeply. The other belief mindset shift that happened for me was in the middle of the launch, and if you're a business owner, have you ever launched a product or a package or a coaching package? Anything that launching is a marathon and it is a mindset I don't want to say game, but it is a practice and I have.

Speaker 1: 8:17

This is probably the 50th time I've launched something in my career and something that always happens is we have doubts and if you've ever gone through the momentum restart, we talk about adjusting and not quitting, and that means not being surprised when setbacks happen. So I was not going to be surprised when doubts came in my mind. Instead, I was going to be ready to handle it. I was going to be ready to shift and adjust my mindset as needed, Because when we're surprised and we think we're just going to be confident through this whole hard situation of putting myself out there and we're surprised by self-doubt coming in that could wreck us. So don't be surprised, Expect it. Of course, anytime you put yourself out there, you're going to have those doubts creep in, whether it's from other people or yourself. So know how you're going to shift it. And here's what helped me that quote of when this third woman said to me you can always find evidence, support what you want to believe about the situation. Actually, she was saying it to someone else and I my ears popped up and I started writing down evidence right away. And again, this is the third time someone told me this, but I didn't listen to that.

Speaker 1: 9:22

Third time I was in yoga. It was the middle of the launch, which is the part where all the doubts come in and you think what am I even doing? This is so hard, Is this even going to work? And all those doubts even though I really truly 1000% believed in this product, all those doubts came in. So I'm in yoga where all of my processing happens. I have to do it at least once a week because it helps me process through how I'm feeling, emotions, mindset and just breathe. And I'm in yoga At the end. We're doing some deep stretching and you get some time to think through things.

Speaker 1: 9:54

And all of a sudden my heart started racing and in the thought in my mind I got really scared and I started thinking what if everything crumbles down. What if everything doesn't work? And I felt like I was on a cliff, like a cliff in the Red Rocks in Sedona. What if everything comes crumbling down and I just fall off this cliff? And I could feel my heart racing. I could feel it now just talking about it, and then I remembered no, I was prepared for this.

Speaker 1: 10:22

This is doubt creeping in.

Speaker 1: 10:23

You can find evidence to support what you want to believe.

Speaker 1: 10:27

I want to believe that I'm not on the edge of things crumbling down. I want to believe that I'm on the edge of opportunity. And so instead I, in my mind, moved myself from that cliff and instead I was standing on the ocean and visualizing, standing on the beach, looking at the ocean and seeing the expansive opportunities and seeing the abundance that's available and the possibilities and the opportunities and the unknown wonderfulness that we have right in front of us. And I could instantly just like I can now felt my breath slowing down. I felt my heart rate slowing down, I felt calm, and ever since that moment, that's what I've chosen to believe. And when I start to feel that doubt creep in because it will, it always will, whether it's someone on Instagram, and it makes you start second guessing yourself or someone says something like the mean kid. Whatever happens, you're going to be prepared because you can find evidence to support what you want to believe about a situation and when you believe in yourself and you believe in what it is, you have to put out there in the world. Nothing can stop you.

Speaker 1: 11:36

Thank you for listening to this episode of Momentum Restart Podcast. I would love to hear what you think about it. What were your takeaways? What action steps do you now want to take? Dm me on Instagram at Coach Amber B and let's keep this conversation going. I promise I respond to every message I get. Talk with you soon you.