How Working Moms Adjust, and Don’t Quit

Imagine if every curveball life threw at you—whether it's a feverish kiddo or an inbox in crisis—could be handled with grace and strategic smarts, without tipping the scales into stress overload. That's what we're unpacking today. We're not just talking about juggling—it's about intentional shifts that keep the balance between your personal aspirations and the ones you hold as a mom.

Picture this: you've set your alarm to conquer the world before your little ones' feet hit the ground, but surprise—they're up at the crack of dawn. Or you're inches away from a breakthrough at work when, out of the blue, your child is home sick. Sound familiar? I share candid stories from my life and those of my clients to prove that despite these hiccups, you can continue making strides toward your goals while fostering strong family bonds. It's about expecting the unexpected, having a Plan B, and knowing when to hit pause on perfection to prioritize what truly counts.

In this episode, I talk about the following:
1. Expecting setbacks and having a plan B.
2. Evaluating setbacks to uncover patterns.
3. Adjusting without pushing harder.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Momentum Restart Podcast
• 4:42 Adjusting and Not Quitting
• 13:34 Expect, Evaluate, Adjust
• 21:30 Empowerment Through Restarting and Control

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Are you a woman who runs the world but know you need a little support to Listen up? Through coaching clients and pursuing my own health and ambitions, I've found getting to a goal takes more than just willpower. It takes a mindset restart and learning how to adjust and not quit. In this podcast, you'll hear from women out there leading the way in momentum, and I'll be sharing impactful mindset strategies to help you get out of your own way. Whether you're on a health journey, starting your life after a big change or trying to keep up momentum towards your passion project, with all the ups and downs, this is for you. It's time to decrease the things that hold you back and increase the things that move you forward towards a life that you want. I'm Amber Bebelheimer, and this is the Momentum Restart Podcast. This is Momentum Restart Podcast. I am your host, coach, amber Be.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Imagine this you have a big project you're working on for work. You have it all planned out. Sunday night you were ready. You even meal prepped. You know exactly what you're going to do each day and then, in the middle of the night, your kids get sick. You also know that your other kid has three basketball games this week, but you're not freaking out because you already have a plan B in your pocket. You expected that there were going to be distractions and things coming up and you're able to shift into your plan B easily. Your mindset shifts into plan B so that you can still get that big project done, get some sleep, take care of your kids and be present in all the ways that you want to be. It really is possible, and it's not about doing more. It's actually about knowing what and when to let go and what to focus on.

Speaker 1: 2:05

There's a statistic that I read a few years back and I share this every now and then on Instagram and I get so much engagement because we can all relate and also it's kind of laughable because it's so obvious. But the stat was that 95% of working moms feel overwhelmed with all that they have on their plates. Of course they do right. Of course we do. And the stat even went into more detail of how, when we're feeling that overwhelm, it can feel isolating and lonely and we can feel like we just can't get it all done. And I promise you you can get it all done when you know what should be on your plate and what you can let go of, and that overwhelm will disappear. And while anyone listening today can gain momentum, whether you're a mom or not, you will gain momentum from today's episode.

Speaker 1: 3:02

I'm going to be talking about this pinnacle tool from Momentum Restart Method, the adjust don't quit. It is everything from momentum restart and if you learn how to do this effectively, it will help you gain momentum, no matter what life throws at you. And today specifically, even though this will help every one of you listening today, specifically, I'm talking to you, the working mom, whether you work from home and you're a mom, whether you work outside of the home and you're a mom, whether you're a mom whatever you call yourself, if you have a full time job of moming and juggling a full time job, maybe even a full time job and a side hustle or two, I'm talking to you. So when I say adjust, don't quit, before I dig into how to and how to make this happen for you so that you can get it all done without feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know what it is not. Adjust don't quit does not mean just pushing through, just work harder. It does not mean ignore your body. If you only heard those last two words at the end don't quit you got it wrong. The adjustment helps you not quit. It's not pushing harder, it's not working harder, it's not ignoring our body or our sleep or what we need. It's adjusting so that we don't quit. And here's what I mean. Working moms. We have to learn how to adjust and not quit. You do this a lot already. I'm going to help you do it in a way that feels really good in your body and is going to feel good for all the people around you too.

Speaker 1: 4:42

You know that phenomena of when your kids are little and you decide hey, I'm going to start getting up an hour early so I have a little bit of time to myself, whether that's starting a new workout routine or I'm going to journal, or I'm just going to sit and have my coffee in peace and drink a whole cup of coffee. You decide that you're going to wake up an hour early. You go to bed a little bit earlier. You set your alarm but, intuitively, every child knows mom's getting up early, so I am too. All of a sudden, they know that you're going to be getting up early and they start getting up early with you. This always happened when Max and Jack were really little. Every time, no matter what. It's a very strange phenomenon. They can feel your presence when you're awake, or maybe you can relate to it this way If you have a big goal at work, I am working behind the scenes, creating something incredibly helpful for you, the working mom, right now, and I have this whole month that I'm putting into preparing this for you.

Speaker 1: 5:48

And what was ironic? But I was not surprised, because I'm going to use these tools that I learned today. I had my whole plan planned out for this week and then this happens. I woke up and one of my kids had a fever. He's been home with me the last three days. I've been helping him, also worried for him, making sure he's okay, getting him food and medicine, taking his temperature every couple hours and, at the same time, taking care of my other son, making sure he gets to school, helping my son at home get his homework done so he doesn't get too far behind All while sanitizing the house like crazy and making sure that I'm still moving forward in this project that I want to get out to you. And I thought it was so timely that this happened, because it always does right.

Speaker 1: 6:36

We have this big project you're working on and then your kids get sick, or if your kids have a big emotion that they need your support on and they just need your presence and you. They're sitting with them. This happens almost every time we have a big goal, the sooner we can start expecting it and learn how to handle it in an effective, graceful way, it's gonna feel so much better. So what happens when either of these phenomenas happen? No matter what, you have a big goal, you're gonna get up earlier. You have this big project or XYZ, and something happens in your life, whether it's at work or yourself or your kids. Something life happens right.

Speaker 1: 7:19

Two outcomes most likely from the situation. One is a mom. You may put everything aside and focus on what those needs are for your kids and you put everything else on hold. But what happens is when you put things on hold and your projects and your business, on your health, whatever your goal is. A lot of times that hold can turn into more than a few days, it turns into weeks or it keeps repeating so that it just stays on your list and you never actually get ahead in your goals, and that can be so frustrating.

Speaker 1: 8:01

Another outcome of a way that moms handle this is you might try to do it all. You might say, well, I have this project. Or I said I was going to be getting up and early and working out. I'm just going to do it anyways. I'm going to push through, I'm going to stay up all night to finish the project. I'm going to sacrifice sleep to gain a goal and also do everything for everyone which ultimately may keep moving the needle in the immediate, but you're going to end up exhausted and burnt out.

Speaker 1: 8:32

Oftentimes I've gone through these seasons. I've had clients, I've helped work through these seasons. You might get chronically sick. You might find yourself always sick. With the next cold or flu or whatever comes to your house, you just pick up or you're feeling tired, because we are not built to constantly push like that. So what if I told you that you don't have to do either of those outcomes, that it can be different, doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to just push through and stay up all night and sacrifice your sleep. You don't have to put all of your goals and work aside when things happen and never see it come to fruition. It doesn't have to be that way. You can stay consistent in your goals at work or taking care of yourself and you can still be the present mom that I know you truly want to be. I love this about you and I love every client I get to work with. I'm going to give you a little side story here about this present mom and how deep my heart is for this.

Speaker 1: 9:44

I had a client call this morning. I love working with this client. I've worked with her for the last couple of years. She's gone through momentum restart accelerator and we've also been working through a whole year of 90-day plans helping her keep getting that momentum going in her business while living her goal of being a present mom. And ultimately, at the beginning of every 90 days we read through her five-year vision and she was telling me about this project she got to do for work. Who was so beautiful was that she was telling me how the best part of this project she got to do was that she got to involve her son with her and her son got to be a part of this project with her and see what she does and how proud of her he was and how he was involved in this whole project. And I get off this call with my client and realize I have mascara cry marks all over my face, which I didn't realize during the full call, but to show you it means so much when I hear clients who want it all and I know that you can have it and I relate to you.

Speaker 1: 10:58

I want it all to and I know that it's possible. I want to do the work that I love. I want to be inspired. I want to feel challenged. I want to grow. I want to help as many people as I can and without sacrificing my family. I want to have an incredible relationship with my kids so that when they're growing up, they're a part of my work. It's not separate. They're a part of my work and they know what I'm doing and they're proud of me and they can see that they can do amazing things with their life too. And I want to feel good in my body. I want to feel energized. I want to feel strong. I want to do things that light me up, like for me, that's playing music or looking at art, or going out with my friends or going on a date night with Mike all these things. I know that you can have what your different pieces of the pie are too. You can have those goals at work and stay consistent, take care of yourself and be the present mom that you want to be. And I'm going to teach you how today.

Speaker 1: 12:11

The art of restarting, it's how to adjust and not quit. We're going to adjust like a mother, because if anyone can do it, it is a mom. And this new offer that I'm creating just for working moms, I'm going to be coaching clients through just like I did and do in the moment, to restart accelerator through steps, and this, through these steps that I'm going to share with you today, the one step out of the momentum restart accelerator that I hear the most thank you for in my DMs or mom saying that this tool has been the best thing that they've learned from the accelerator because it helps them not stay in overwhelm. It helps them recognize really quickly when they put too much on their plate and they're able to adjust really quick. It's this tool that I'm going to show you today how to adjust and not quit. This is the one that I hear from years later from clients, especially moms, how they're still using this tool every day. We need this tool every day because we never know what's going to happen. We have such little control over our days when you're adjusting that quitting. There are three steps that you can do. You're going to practice these over and over and over again.

Speaker 1: 13:34

The first step is to expect expect setbacks. Let's not be surprised when our kids get sick or there's days off of school that we weren't planning for snow day, or we have an extra project that pops up at work or we have an injury we're working through. Let's expect that things are going to happen. Also, this could mean expecting good things. Your friend calls and tells you this most amazing celebration that is happening and something that happened to her that she's been waiting for for years, and you want to be able to drop everything and go be with her and celebrate. This is good and bad. It can be either one. We want to expect that we have life when we make a plan. We're not robots running a business. We're human beings and there's going to be things that pop up. Let's completely expect them To help you expect setbacks so that they don't surprise you or throw you off and into one of those outcomes I described earlier.

Speaker 1: 14:42

It really helps to have a plan, be ready, have a plan, be ready and know yes, ideally you want to do X, y, z this week. Let's say we're talking about working out. I'm going to get five workouts in this week. Amazing, what's your plan be if something came up? If you want to get your workouts in every morning at 6 am but it doesn't happen, you know how that feels and then we don't do it at 6 am. So then we wake up and feel like, well, I didn't do it, I totally failed this day. I'm going to try again tomorrow. No, we have a whole day still that we can get that in. Let's have a plan be. Maybe that's a walk with the family later after dinner. Maybe that's you taking a lunch hour to move your body. You always have a plan be. Yes, it's not ideal, it's not plan A, but it's not nothing. Something is always better than nothing. So, having your plan be ready whether that's how you plan your work day or what you're going to get done on your projects or taking care of yourself have a plan be ready. It also really helps when you're planning and I do this a lot for clients when I'm making 90-day plans for them and just for myself.

Speaker 1: 15:54

This last week, I have a lot of projects that I'm working on, really fun projects that I'm helping clients with right now and getting their messaging across and writing some really fun copy for them. I have a lot of projects on the table. I'm looking at my weeks and giving them deadlines and I'm telling myself, looking at each week based on yes, I would ideally love to have these deadlines hit, but I'm going to look at it as a way of what's my bare minimum? What if Mr B had to travel last minute for work, which happens? What if both the kids had to be home or we had a snow day? What if I got sick? Or what if my sister called and there was amazing celebration and I had to drop everything and go to the spa day with her? This happens. What if something happened in life and I couldn't do all of it? What would be my bare minimum on those busiest weeks that I know I can do? That's what I create my deadlines around. Now I have my bare minimum planned for the week.

Speaker 1: 17:00

I know I'm going to hit the deadlines no matter what happens, and most likely I'm going to get things done before the deadlines and that's going to feel so good to me and my clients. I'm not going to be sacrificing sleep or time with my family and I'm not going to be sacrificing my work either. I'm going to do an amazing job because I've prepared enough time and cushion around it to do excellent work, which is what I love to do. I've been clocking my work time lately and I've noticed how much extra I like to do and I'm not going to change that. I know that that's how I work. I love to give above and beyond to every client and I'm just planning for that. So expect. Expect that life is going to happen. Have a plan, be ready.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Number two is evaluate. So when a step back happens this is something that we work through and you're going to see this and experience this in the working moms group that's coming up you're going to learn how to evaluate when stepbacks happen. Really pause and think through. Why do I keep hitting this wall? If you see something that keeps happening repeatedly? Maybe it's a certain project that you can never get done on time. Maybe it's a goal that you have in your health that you just can't seem to make happen.

Speaker 1: 18:25

If you keep hitting the same wall over and over again, it is time to evaluate and really uncover why. Uncover why you keep hitting this wall. Sometimes it's circumstantial, sometimes it's just things completely out of our control, and sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's excuses, sometimes it's you setting the goal in a way that doesn't really align with your why, so you're not motivated, and sometimes it's lack of discipline. When you stop and evaluate it, instead of it just letting it hang over your head or pulling you into a depth of despair cycle, when you evaluate it, you can uncover why it's happening, and then you can uncover the cycle and you can start making plans to adjust and not quit, instead of it happening over and over again. This is what I love helping one-on-one with clients and in groups, coaching them through how to uncover this. It's amazing how many cycles we are each in and how it's hard for us to see it in the moment, but once someone points it out to you, it's like you can't unsee it and a veil is lifted up and you can see oh, this is why this has been happening. This is why I've been hitting this wall, and now you have knowledge and tools and understanding so that, when it happens, you can take the third step, which is adjust. So you've expected it to happen, you've evaluated it when it does and then you can adjust.

Speaker 1: 20:00

And when you're making adjustments, remember that doesn't mean pushing harder. It doesn't mean doing more. It means adjust your expectations or adjust your plan to what you are able to do. That means asking for help. Adjustment is imagine you're sitting in an Uber ride with friends and you all have to pack in the backseat to go somewhere. And as someone else gets in, you're going to make adjustments, you're going to move around to make room for everything and you might ask for help for someone to move, or you might adjust expectations that it might not be a comfy ride, but I'm going to be able to get through this. You're going to adjust your plan. Maybe someone has to sit in the front seat. You have to make adjustments to make it happen.

Speaker 1: 20:45

When you learn these tools and you practice this art of restarting, you really can handle what life throws at you. And I call this the art of restarting because it really is an art. It's a dance, it's a practiced thing that becomes part of your life. And it is not black and white. It's not checking the boxes, it's noticing. It's being really in touch with yourself and what you need and what lights you up. What does it? Being aware enough to be able to evaluate those setbacks and being brave enough to look at what those setbacks are too, and then practicing adjustments and seeing what works and what doesn't.

Speaker 1: 21:30

It's the art of restarting, and there is actually so much more in your control than you realize. Yes, as a mom, there's a lot on our schedule that we have zero control over, but you know what you have control over. You have control over your expectations, your mindset, and you even have control over your schedule. If you create it with the expectation of Plan B, and the sooner you learn this, the sooner you'll have peace in your day and those uncontrollable things that come at you will not throw you off anymore and if they do, they won't throw you off for long. That art of restarting becomes faster and easier, and your body will thank you. Your work and your business will thrive because you're consistent, and your kids will thank you too. Eventually, I really believe that a woman can have it all, but only once you realize you don't have to do it all, and if this spoke to you today, I really encourage you to hop on Instagram dmeatcoachamberb the word mom, and I'm going to send you a special invite to practice these tools and help you take back your life this year.

Speaker 1: 22:58

Thank you for listening to this episode of Momentum Restart Podcast. I would love to hear what you think about it. What were your takeaways? What action steps do you now want to take? Dmeat on Instagram at Coach Amber B and let's keep this conversation going. I promise I respond to every message I get. Talk with you soon. Please give this video a big thumbs up.